


Shopping

by devil



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: ZaGf, zim and gaz friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4725098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devil/pseuds/devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a debate with some classmates, Zim goes clothes shopping! However, he’s not too sure where exactly to find clothes, so Gaz is forced along to help.  Kind of used this as an excuse to practice writing both Zim & Gaz, and also I wanted to write the two of them interacting, regardless.</p><p>Originally requested by an anon on tumblr.  Also includes cute art by uglette @ tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shopping

“He doesn’t even have finger nails, who doesn’t have finger nails!”

Zim rolls his eyes, listening to Dib rant off to the class about the whole silly him being an alien thing again. Well, not so silly because it was true, but Dib was a silly person. He looks up at the clock, only a couple moments before Bitters would slither to the door and unlock it for them to leave for the day. 

“And he’s always wearing the same thing, too? Do none of you ever notice that? I mean, I usually wear this outfit, too. But he probably doesn’t even know other clothes exist because he’s an alien!”

The class murmur to each other, seeming to be on Dib’s side all of the sudden. Zim couldn’t let that happen.

“I have MANY clothes, silly dirt child!” Zim points at Dib, “YOU probably only wear that one outfit because you can’t get it over your BIG head!”

The class erupts with laughter, drowning out any kind of rebuttal Dib makes. The bell rings, and Bitters snaps at them all to leave. As Zim grabs his belongings, he thinks to himself, for good measure he probably should invest in more clothing. Even if human clothing is hideous. The alien stuffs a hand into his pocket, feeling for money. There wasn’t much, but there should be enough for a new shirt or something. Anything to prove Dib wrong. And boy did he need to be proved wrong. Even if he was right.

“Excuse me, human children!” He walks up to a group of gossiping kids from his grade outside of the school’s doorway. "If I wanted to buy some of your silly earth clothes, where would I go?“

"Uh, didn’t you say you already have clothes, Zim? That’s what you just said in class.”

The plan was off to a bad start. Zim bites his lower lip. "Yes, yes, of course! I have LOTS of clothes! Just like you! But if I wanted to get more, I would go where…?“

"Like, probably the clothing store?” One of the children who’s name Zim never bothered to learn rolls their eyes. "Everyone knows that.“

They all laugh, walking off, leaving Zim so simmer.

"OF COURSE I KNOW THAT! But WHERE!” He stomps on the ground, clenching his tiny fists. Despite how long he’s been in this city, he still hasn’t worked out how to get around exactly yet. And he didn’t want to have another bus incident again. 

“Fine!Don’t help Zim! He yells at no one, "Not only will I work on humiliating DIB with this plan, but I will humiliate all of you, too!”

“Humiliate Dib how?”

Zim perks up, having not expected to actually hear anyone respond to him. No one usually does. Other than Dib, of course. When he turns around, Gaz is standing there playing a handheld game. 

“What’s your awful plan to humiliate him this time?” She doesn’t look up when she speaks.

Zim grunts. "The plan is GENIUS! Dib says I have no clothes, so I’m going to go out, and BUY CLOTHES!“ The alien throws his head back, cackling.  
"That’s an awful plan.”

Zim stops, pointing accusingly at her. "It’s a BRILLIANT plan! Someone like YOU wouldn’t know a good plan if it bit them on the face, Jazz!“

"It’s Gaz, and whatever. Good luck finding the store.” Gaz walks past him, intentionally bumping against him. Zim growls, watching her leave. He had no idea where the store was. Earth was such a complicated, ugly place, it would probably take years to find by himself.

“GAZ!” Zim runs to catch up to her. "Lucky you! Despite being the sister of my MOST HATED RIVAL I have chosen YOU to help the mighty Ziiiiim in finding the clothing store!“

"What’s in it for me?”

“Knowing Dib has faced UTTER HUMILIATION when I show up in brand new amazing clothes, of course!”

“Fine.” The girl growls, and comes to a stop. “We’re here.”

“Wha–?” Zim looks up at the building they were in front of. It had a big sign reading ‘CAL’S CLOTHES’. Zim looks back, seeing the school just down the street. "How did I ever notice this before?“

Gaz only snorts, still more focused on her game.

"Now the mighty ZIIIIM will now shop for clothes and OUT FASHION Diiiiib!”

“You’re outdressing him now? Do you always flip flop on your plans so much?”

“Quiet Gaz, you couldn’t understand my genius.” The alien opens the door to the store and beckons her to go inside. "Now, you know what filthy clothes your brother owns–come help me pick out ones that are better than his!“

The young girl growls at him, and pockets her game. "Fine, but only because stupid Dib is hogging the TV watching his stupid paranormal shows. This should be more interesting than those.”

Zim enters the store and hisses, shielding his eyes from the bright fluorescent lighting. It was even worse than the lighting at Skool.

Through squinted eyes, he examines the store layout. From the entrance, there were two distinct sides. One had an array of various clothing in different colors. The other was mainly dresses and skirts, mostly consisting of pink, though there were purples and whites scattered around. It seemed a little odd, but Zim wasn’t going to question what humans did.

“Well?” Gaz hisses at him, tapping her foot impatiently. 

“LET ME THINK, GAZ!” Zim hisses back at her, looking at each side of the store. 

“This looks right.” Zim says, walking in the direction of the pinker side of the store. They resembled the clothes on Irk the most, from what he could tell. He rummages through the racks of clothing. They were all so soft, and nice. Some had plastic characters Zim recognized from the show’s Gir watched, while other’s were covered in fake gems and glitter. The disguised alien’s eyes light up, seeing a dress that was practically just made from glitter. He runs his gloved hand over it, feeling the bumpy texture through it. Oh, how it shined!

“Gah, Zim.” She shields her eyes. "Everything is so shiny and bright. It’s gross. Whatever you buy, we’re dying it black.“  
"NO!” Zim clutches the dress against his chest. "It’s PERFECT the way it is!“

"Ugh. I’m going to go.” 

“Whatever, Gaz,” he waves off the girl, digging through more racks while holding that one dress draped over his arm. Quickly, that one dress becomes two. Then Three. And four. And so on, until Zim has a stack of brightly colored dresses in one arm. 

“Perfect. These will SURELY show Dib that I’m a normal human child! Yesssss… ” Zim rubs the clothes stack. His little Irken chest is actually thumping with excitement. Back on Irk, there was only really the one style of clothing for him to wear. Having so many new clothes was exciting, and he couldn’t wait to wear them. “I’m going to be the prettiest human-child. That’s what all this was for!“ 

"You really are a flip-flopper.” Gaz sighs. Zim jumps, not realizing she had returned. She sat on a bench behind him, playing her game, now wearing sunglasses. Apparently his clothes were just that bright. "And you have terrible taste in clothing.“

"YOU have awful taste in clothing! I am PERFECT and so is my taste in EVERYTHING!” Zim snaps at her, walking towards the counter and setting his clothes down to be rung up. "Do you even own anything that’s not black?“

"I have a blue shirt, too.” 

“That’ll be five hundred and sixty-eight dollars!” The overly happy cashier places two over stuffed bags on the counter. Zim digs his money out of his pocket and counts it to exactly three dollars, five rubber bands, and a button.

“Uh…” Zim stares at the money is hand.

Gaz clenches her fists. "You don’t even have enough money?“

"No, but what I do have is… SPEED, GAZ!” Zim snags the bags off the counter and cackles, running out the door. "NO ONE WILL STOP ZIM FROM BEING LOOKING HIS BEST!“

Both the cashier and Gaz stare at the door. Zim pops his head back in for a second. “Also, this was really fun, filthy Gaz. Let’s do it again sometime!” 

And with another cackle, he’s gone.

"You know, you’re going to have to pay for that!” The cashier smiles cheerfully at Gaz.

The girl clenches her fists til her knuckles are white. "Oh, tomorrow he’s going to be the one to pay, no matter how well dressed he is.“


End file.
